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JasonKoivu

JasonKoivu

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Pride and Prejudice
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Brimstone and Marmalade: A Tor.Com Original

Brimstone and Marmalade: A Tor.Com Original - Aaron Corwin Mathilde's a spoiled bitch! "I want a pony! I want a pony!" Quit whining, you're getting a damned demon, for fuck's sake!

Perhaps I should say, she's getting a demon of the damned! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA (<--That's evil laughter, in case you didn't pick up on it. I'm not very good at it.)

In this delightful and all too short story, young Mathilde's birthday is coming and all she wants is a pony. But ponies are a big responsibility, one which her parents don't think she's ready for. Much better to start her off with a pet demon.

Maybe that sounds illogical and flat out crazy, but I have to agree with the parents here. Ponies are dicks! Let me explain in the following reminiscence...

CUE THE WAVY FLASHBACK LINES!
When I was kid, probably not much older than Mathilde, I was mucking out the cow barn and feeding the animals. I threw down some hay for my aunt's pony (his name was Tony, of course), and because he couldn't reach the pile, I nudged it towards him with my foot. Well, the little bastard must've got spooked, because his double line of big ol' teeth shot out and bit my stomach. I was in shock and a good deal of pain. It left quite a mark (And that's the story of how I got my belly button!...just kidding).
UNWAVY THE FLASHBACK LINES

The mark that really stuck with me is that ponies are dicks. He could've just backed away like any other spooked horse would, but no, Tony took this opportunity to strike back at his human slavemasters (We would harness him to the wee-est tiny trap for short joyrides and I'm pretty sure he resented us for it...guess I don't blame him) and hell, I wasn't even his owner! I was just trying to feed him. Oh well, back to this here story...

Brimstone and Marmalade is well worth your ten minutes to read, even if you have no interest in ponies or demons. It's a tightly told story, a little vignette of childhood memory paralleling so very many children's experiences. Even if it wasn't exactly a pony, who didn't yearn for a pet of some sort as a kid? And who didn't get let down by their parents? You're probably going to relate to this story and that alone often makes for a good read. So couple that with a smartly told tale and you've got yourself a nice little coffee break story to enjoy! And you will enjoy it...THIS I COMMAND!!!


By the way!
You can read this story for free in its entirety on Tor's site at... http://www.tor.com/stories/2013/10/brimstone-and-marmalade-aaron-corwin