JasonKoivu

It's been a heavy few days, so I needed to regain a little of that innocence lost, which led me to this delightful volume in the Choose Your Own Adventure series.

In The Enchanted Kingdom I'm not sure if you're supposed to be playing an undeveloped girl or a pretty Pakistani boy, so it must suffice to say you are a nameless and sexless kid, who is visiting your Aunt Grace in the magical land of "England." In a place called The Downs you find standing stones and rumors of fairies (that's the spelling this book uses.) It's time to investigate!

1) In my first adventure I ask Aunt Grace what this nonsense is with her putting out milk for "the Little People." The old wingnut isn't very forthcoming with the answers. That night I spy fairies drinking the milk and I get severely pinched for it.

2) Take two. At the village library I discover there may be treasure within the mysterious mounds nearby. While digging in said mounds I get pinched again...pinched by a bobby for digging what's not to be dug, that is.

3) I go ask an old, blue-haired dumpling at the sweets shop about these fairy rumors. I doubt the aged pork roll's rantings and regardless of warnings to stay clear as well as the many illustrations done with flair by Judith Mitchell depicting fairies through out the book, I march off to prove fairies don't exist. Low and behold, they do. So I get down and boogie with them. Then I black out and wake up w/a squirrel trying to get me to eat its nuts. I agree, but don't swallow, and then end up shot in the chest by a fairy arrow. Let that be a lesson to me!

4) This time the King Fairy gets me drunk and takes me into the woods...but I swear nothing happened. I fight off some ghouls w/a plastic knife, saving a fairy and thus making friends with the fairy folk. Huzzah!

5) Went on a Wild Hunt w/the king. We chase the ghosts of bad dead people. I find enough hidden gold to make me and Auntie rich. Note: Fairy steeds look like My Little Ponies.

6) I go to a castle with the Fairy Queen. A bit of insincere flattery gets me sent to the silver mines. In the caves I meet a sort of resistance group led by a woman named Nyala (who I instantly trust because Nyala is the name of my favorite Ethiopian restaurant in Los Angeles and it is delicious!) We find some magical caves and I live an unending life as leader of the free slaves of Elfland.

7) I join the Fairy Queen on a Halloween parade, but discover that I am to be made a sacrifice. Luckily this butch Pippy-Lockstockings of a girl from Minnesota saves my ass by hugging-it-out. Relationship Status: It's complicated.